I do not know what to feel right now after my mother told me she have the idea to divorce with father. In my memory, i have not been so angry for so long that i could hardly remember when was the last time my real angry raised up in my heart. I am very pissed but i don't know who to blame the anger on. My mother has finally leashed out her hard feeling about father not spending enough time with her in the weekends. Actually this problem has existed ever since they got married. I have noticed mother have the thought to divorce by the anger she has with father in the very daily chorus. It was not rare to know she is not happy with father's attituded towards the family. At the very moment i feel extremely confused and lost. As i know mother is a person who has high determination. If she has made up her mind to do something she must and would do it in the future no matter what. The first feeling i had when i heard it, i was stunning and upset. I honestly did not know how to react towards this very difficult and upset situation. Ever since i was a child, i always believe that my family would be one unit forever. I never dreamt that my parents will divorce one day. I don't know if mother forgot what she just told me on our way home from the restaurant, but the astonishment could never fade away from my heart. I understand i really have to be tough and calm to handle this matter, but it's never easy when you are one of the character in the situation. What can i say about it? I mean...i really do not know. It is the most difficult situation that i have never face before. Am i just living in a fair tale in the past that i had no ability to realise the problem in the past? Or it is only because i am old enough to figure out the situation is so tough that i have no idea how to handle? Or should i just forget about it and live like i never had a conversation with my mother about it? Why would my mother have the thought to divorce? As i said in above, she is not a person who give up so easily. is she really can not take it anymore? Or she just wanted to leash out her anger to realise herself? Can father figure out any little tips about this " hidden" situation? I only know we should never take things as granded. We should give before we take anything back. Sigh...i dont' know what else i could say up to this point. I believe the only thing i should do is to talk to father about it. It actually makes me realise that never could last forever, even a relationship that has been built up for over 20 years long. I really don't think i want to get married as much as before. Sigh... it changed my value towards marriage completely...is this what people called " personal experience"? I believe so...
- posted by milala6891 @ 7:36 AM

 
Hahaha...when was the last Blog i posted? I could hardly remember the day and the info of it! Wow...finally i am back to Hong Kong, the place where i always believe that i would love forever. Sitting in front of the computer, writing a Blog and talking to people would be what i usually do in Hong Kong back in the old days. Every time when people asked me about the trip in Hong Kong, i normally would say yes i am enjoying my time in my home. However it is totally different this year when i find out the excitment has gone. Isn't this gay? Last year i was so looking forward to come back, i even planned out what i want to do when i am back. The imagination of the fun time i would have in this year with my friends could always brighten up my mind and refresh my soul in Canada. Actually the reasons are quite obvious to explain this feeling i have this year. Firstly Ivan and Gf have girlfriends, which means they can not spend too much time with Crystal and I. Looking backward to last summer when we went around Hong Kong, oh my god, it was so great! The secondl thing would probably be Ah Cho. Ever since i arrived to Hong Kong, he already disappointed me for a few times such as not calling me back when he said he would. i do not want to break my heart once again as hard as last time when i regonized he got a girlfriend. I have enough of hard time, i do not need more. I guess what i really need to do is to be alone for quite some time to ask myself what i want and think problems through.
- posted by milala6891 @ 4:50 PM